January 2012
1 post
Uncomfortable. (warning a lot of self hate due to...
It’s happening again. i am so physically uncomfortable in my own skin. in clothing. in my body. on furniture.
I feel completely disgusting. i try hard to stay in shape to not eat a lot. kinda hate myself for not keeping better track of myself. why did i starting eating whatever. stop working out. i really hate myself for this.
i just want to be able to sit comfortably with out back fat...
December 2011
3 posts
fucking cupcakes.
so anyways yah’ll.
when i got home i weighed 179.6, then when i weighed myself a few days later it was 180.6, but hey it fluctuates i understand.
i started going to the gym. 2 days in a row for a hour on the elliptical.
however i ate two and a half cupcakes and i am going over to a friends house for a super awesome dinner.
so much food. fuck i hate myself i’ve already had 1080...
1 tag
180.0lbs
on the dot. i made my weight quota haha.
i did somethign dumb and looked through a ton of thinspo pics and before and afters. kinda feel like crap about my body. i really wanna get back down to 163. 150 would be an amazing goal to reach. i just need to make sure that while i am at home i don’t gain any weight at all. i’m going to seriously make it to the gym every day and limit the...
November 2011
6 posts
working out
I had convinced myself walking was enough but probs not. Exploring the work out room. yesterday I didn’t take the stairs. my body was angry at me this morning for that haha
weigh in: 182.0
okay next week’s goal: 180… but 179 would be awesome haha
weigh in tomorrow.
i tried very hard this week to do well with calories. i knwo i could have done better. so worried. i would love to be 179 but i guess 182 is what i should shoot for. i’ll be so disappointed if i am 185. i just need to buckle the fuck down. god.
so worried. so guilty. i wish i could not care about my body for just a little whle.
but it’d be nice if that happened around 150 pounds.
...
reminder to self:
over this xmas break, you will have a car: so go to the gym… 2 hours a day it’s not that hard there are tvs there lol.
time to whine about my weight.
so the reason i didn’t post my weight this week is because it was shark week and i was 185. that always freaks me out man. i start to think ” it’s not my period. it’s just my i’m fooling myself into thinking it is that” and etc. i like to blame me for my problems that way i should be able to fix it.
so i am walking to school every day and generally i walk back...
making goals rather than doin' my hooomework.
okay so i san that title, and if as nifty.
alright so i did well in that whole not eating a butt load of garbage day. i also had green tea… i don’t think that is why but i want to pretend it is. i’m not gunna incorporate green tea into me every day weeee. it’s delicious!
i saw something online that sorta inspired me and i have made a new realistic goal:
152 lbs.
my...
October 2011
2 posts
weight problems
hating myself for gainign so much fuckign weight. seriously. i need to get back ont he siet track.
no more desserts.
no more caloric drinks.
no more vending machine snacks.
drink more water.
get your will power back.
stop being fat sara.
2 tags
August 2011
5 posts
4 tags
5 tags
How to Gain Weight Fast for Men: 10 Tips to Help... →
howtogainweightfastformen:
Gaining muscle is one of the most difficult things to do, especially when you don’t have a set of guidelines in front of you or an instructor yelling out you.
Here are some general tips to help you gain muscle on any part of your body just as long as you willing to follow the guidelines…
179.8
i need to lose weight again. i want to be at 160. my goals keep changing the 150s would be good but christ just not here just not here.
i’m gunna go bike and like keep track of my calories and just like… try not to vomit.
I want to get unfat
theuglybabbyduckling:
So I decided I would start walking at random intervals throughout the day. I’m going to start with just one or two walks, but I think I will try and make it at least one walk in the morning and one at night. And add others in when I can. I am at an unhealthy weight and I am unhappy with it, so I’m going to try my best to get healthier. And the best way to do that is...
July 2011
10 posts
Looking at pics of myself on this vacation, I’m thinking I’m at the same size I was when I was in greece last year. So in the 180s it feels. Which means I’ve gained more I’m like falling apart over this shit and unfortunately people can’t see this for some reason. I need to lose again. When I get back to school… I gotta just fix everything. I wanna be 160 by dec...
food guilt dream
i get a dream where i catch myself going over my daily calorie count every time i eat poorly.
atleast last nights was cool ? XD
still 173
still hate myself
i want to eat something so bad
but with current situation si feel so guilty even thinking about it.
226.3
dietwhinge:
Apparently my body just really likes being 226.
I’m tired and fed up.
I am asking for orlistat, though I think I will talk about the stress and anxiety stuff first.
i’m so glad you’re getting something for the antiext. i hope it works, it’ll make the weightloss so much better and easier to some extent. think of how close you are! only 26 pounds away, compared to...
also...
i ate peach cobbler at this hour of the morning. i want to vomit. i won’t, but i’m fighting a hell of an urge to go make myself vomit. i’ve never done that before (not that the thought hasn’t and doesn’t cross my mind)
it’s a really worrisome thought, but i dunno, feel like anyone who struggles with their weight feels this at times.
i will not vomit.
i...
food.
i’ve been horrible and i’m terrified to weigh myself.
i’m going to give myself 10 days of dieting before i weigh myself. I want to exercise daily ad keep my calories in check.
alison mentioned you are suppose to have a hearty breakfast. so i think i will try that.
dieting wah wah wah
okay went up to a bad place. this is bad. uhm. so try harder. yep that’s about all the support i’ve got left for myself lol.
4 tags
June 2011
14 posts
173.4 and rant.
i hate myself. seriously hate myself. why can’t i go lower? where did all myself control go? fuck.
i will not eat unless my stomach is gurgling in pain, i will not go over 1000 at all. shoot for 800 every damn day. i will not eat after 6 pm. can i can jut deal with it.
i will be determined. i will start to exercise. in fact i’ll go on a walk today and i’ll do the yoga...
Today
dietwhinge:
Complete failure.
But I’m also drunk and not caring maybe as much as I should.
The thing is I know next week will be better :/
heeeeey,
same this here. next week there will be no faulter…. until the 1st when i plan on drinking, but i don’t plan on really eating much.
but seriously in order to gain right to that day of getting drunk i gotta earn it dammit!
water with lime
dear sweet jesus, this is my new summer drink. it’s wonderful
and only 1 calorie for cup :D
twitchy
worked out to try and feel less awful about what i ate…. my body is so sore and twitchy. i WILL keep under 1000calories for this next week.
sooo if i get a craving or whatever expect a bbm lucy XD
fucked up...
fucked up fucked up fucked up DX
700 calories in those pizza slices. fuck i am stupid. already had 1197 then 166 pancakes nd then syrup
and i hate myself christ.
okay tomorow
800 calories… if that. seriously sara stay the fuck under that.
70 cal yogurt for breakfast
110 calorie salad for lunch
snack some where in here.
110 calorie salad for dinner here…
okay i just...
tl;dr
i’m so mad at myself. i tried to eat normally an do well, but i can’t i really need to count out every damn calorie. it’s the only way i can stay on to of things. it’s beyond frustrating. i want to be normal like all my friends. i try so hard not to over eat. to try and stay active. i just fucking hate myself so much.
i just wanna me normal. i wanna stop being the fat...
173.2
.. so eatign normally doesn’t work. i do have to stick to starvation dieting. i really hate this.
190 honey nut cheerios
30 2% milk
75 strawberry square
105 angel hair nest
135 kilbasa
50 strawberry square bits
140 greek yogurt
75 strawberry square
one of those days. so ashamed of my body i don’t want to be in public where people can see me and judge me. i feel just so misshapen. my body is all stretched and sags… nothing looks good. i really want to feel like i have a decent body. i want to bein a size 8 jean.. be able to wear a medium. i just want to get that average. i changed my weight goal again because i didn’t want...
next goal
my next goal is 168. its not huge but i haven’t seen that weight in ages. if i can make it there i will be so enthusiastic about getting lower!
172.4
heaviest i’ve been in a long time. i’m on my period but i can’t just blame that. fuck i hate myself so much tonight i will NOT be indulging.
no baking
no snacks
no large dinners
fucking…. toast for breakfast/lunch, then an activia, then small starch lots of veggies and little meat. that’s it. that’s all i can afford. i don’t want to even eat at all...
i cannot remember being this unhappy in my own body. i almost said uncomfortable but no i can remember being this uncomfortable. i feel like i am back at my heaviest. i hate this. i don’t want to be back in public. it’s the lack of walking. i walked fucking every where in halifax. but there is no where to walk here. well there is but it feels almost pointless. but i suppose...
redvelvetmisery:
Sometimes it feels like I’d have been happier if I’d gained and hit 300 rather than this stop start dieting that is frustrating the shit out of me and making me feel like a failure who will never get lower than I am now. ..And I’d have way more encouragement to gain rather than lose :/ liiiike. Sara is the only person actually truly supportive of this weight loss thing. And...
over eating
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
it may only be 2000 but fuuuuuck i think i’m eating horrible and hate myself for it DX
May 2011
1 post
172.8lbs
this is the highest my weights been in months. i’m not okay with this. i need to start my regimen again. i want to start hitting the gym. i’m so upset and pissed at myself. i want to be down 10 lbs soon.
i’m coming back to this original blog. i need to make this work. i wanna lose a minimum of 10 pounds over this summer. fuck i am so pissed. but i feel like i’m not acting...
March 2011
7 posts
sooo many thinspo blogs on tumblr.
it actually makes me wanna delete this account… or make a weight blog where no one knows about it. because when i read those i feel like shit. and i don’t want to do that to others. so uh… delete.
christ okay seriously no more pie.
yeah i had two slices… that and blue berry muffin is all i’ve eaten today. i think i’m having just steamed veggies for dinner. that way i won’t feel so guilty. because steamed veggies will probably just bring me to 1000-1200 calories.
i want to lose more weight man. fuck i need to stat scheduling my meals again.
My body is lumpy.
it sucks to think you’re gunna try so hard o lose all this weight, to try an look good.. attempt sexy? just to find out underneath the fat you flat out just have an unattractive body.
i’m not going to stop trying to lose weight. i just wish i felt there was a better chance of my being “pretty” or “sexy” or “hot” after it all.
pms pms pms pms...
pie is such a bad idea.
is there anything more filling that pie? i think not. and also i don’t want pie for a damn long time. tomorrow i’mma make some good ass chilli. yum yum yum.
fffffffffffffffucked up my diet :c
so i am thinking salads every day… i need to go back to this tomorrow i need to buy:
cucumbers
olives (green!)
red onion
red wine vinegar
chick peas
this will be my basic diet for a long ass time now.
Lent.
so yeah. i’m not exactly religious… but i like the concept of lent.
i’ve given up eating out. because i do that far too much. i’m also going to follow the whole no snacking and 2 smalls meals plusone large meal and no meat on fridays.
meal plan for tomorrow:
breakfast… i might have tea if i wake the fuck up xD (we’ll say that’s like 150 cals with the...
165.0lbs
okay i am shocked… i maintained wait over a vacation… holy shit. my mozzerella sandwich… not too good though . i need some meat.. welp i will have that for dinner or something.
also… my mother gave me a ring she bought in greece. it’s size 4… i use to be lucky ifi could cram a size 10 on.
February 2011
8 posts
167.6
i dunno is a trust that. i had eaten and it was around 2 and it wasn’t on my usual scale. soooooo i’mm do better tomorrow
breakfast- ….. shit i dunno i haven’t really woken up for it
lunch- i want a sandwich. try to keep it around 500 cal
dinner- fuckin’ whaever XD