It’s happening again. i am so physically uncomfortable in my own skin. in clothing. in my body. on furniture.
so anyways yah’ll.
when i got home i weighed 179.6, then when i weighed myself a few days later it was 180.6, but hey it fluctuates i understand.
i started going to the gym. 2 days in a row for a hour on the elliptical.
however i ate two and a half cupcakes and i am going over to a friends house for a super awesome dinner.
so much food. fuck i hate myself i’ve already had 1080 calories today. i really should try to cap it at 1000, that is how i lost the weight last time. so i think i am going to have a small serving of whaevs then veg and hang at wendy’s.
can’t eat too much. blah i hate my body.
Challenge Accepted.
I can’t even do this because of work
WHAT EVEN?! This leaves zero foods, what kind of horrible diet is this :P
I should try it for a week though, Christmas always kills my waistline.
oh i bet i can last at least a week lets do this
ok wtf
how is PB considered a naughty spread?
This is actually a pretty easy diet for me since almost everything on here counts as “treat” and not something I eat every day. But then, my problem isn’t necessarily sweets, but just too-big proportions.
Cupcake: Peanut butter is good in very small amounts, but nuts in general are ridiculously high in fat.
already good on the ‘no fast food’ thing. I haven’t eaten any fast food in about two months
This list is my job.
Who wants to do this with me?
on the dot. i made my weight quota haha.
i did somethign dumb and looked through a ton of thinspo pics and before and afters. kinda feel like crap about my body. i really wanna get back down to 163. 150 would be an amazing goal to reach. i just need to make sure that while i am at home i don’t gain any weight at all. i’m going to seriously make it to the gym every day and limit the xmas treats like whoa. All meals will be small single portions. I know i already said this but GYM EVERY DAY. in the morning. my siblings will go to school i will wake up and hit the gym. on days i know i’m going to drink i will eat very light and no desserts at all.
okay i can do this. i have a dead line approaching fast. gotta be down 5 pounds in the next few weeks. i can do this. i can totally do this. i can get to 175 by january.
I had convinced myself walking was enough but probs not. Exploring the work out room. yesterday I didn’t take the stairs. my body was angry at me this morning for that haha
i tried very hard this week to do well with calories. i knwo i could have done better. so worried. i would love to be 179 but i guess 182 is what i should shoot for. i’ll be so disappointed if i am 185. i just need to buckle the fuck down. god.
so worried. so guilty. i wish i could not care about my body for just a little whle.
but it’d be nice if that happened around 150 pounds.
okay, reminding myself: 170 by my trip home. i have a few weeks i gotta weigh a lot less. ugh ugh ugh.
over this xmas break, you will have a car: so go to the gym… 2 hours a day it’s not that hard there are tvs there lol.
so the reason i didn’t post my weight this week is because it was shark week and i was 185. that always freaks me out man. i start to think ” it’s not my period. it’s just my i’m fooling myself into thinking it is that” and etc. i like to blame me for my problems that way i should be able to fix it.
so i am walking to school every day and generally i walk back home from it too. cept for tonight, it was raining, and tomorrow it’ll be very late and i will have homework to work on.
i am hoping to rech my goal weight of 170 before i go stateside.
but it’s lik 1 in the morning and i ate lentil soup an two peices of toast with jam. that should be a fucking meal. and i just ate it in the middle of the night. i’m gunna try to mak up for that with only 2 cups of rice tomorrow. not the smartest idea, but i am sure i will probs get lke a chicken pita some where in order to get some protein.
i really just want to reach that weight for xmas. i want to look good. and from that point on it’s 20 more pounds. and i can do that. i did to 163… i can do 150. i can fucking do it. i know i can. i am so fucking close.
okay so i san that title, and if as nifty.
alright so i did well in that whole not eating a butt load of garbage day. i also had green tea… i don’t think that is why but i want to pretend it is. i’m not gunna incorporate green tea into me every day weeee. it’s delicious!
i saw something online that sorta inspired me and i have made a new realistic goal:
152 lbs.
my current weight is unfortunately 182.6lbs. yes i know it’s awful i’ve gone up pretty much 20 pounds form me lowest and depressed depressed depressed about it. but i will go back down. 30 pounds to lose seems to doable, especially when i KNOW i can get myself down 20 more.
i did so good with willpower today. i can do it again tomorrow and the next day. as a small treat for myself i will get sushi this weekend or maybe just for friday night. yum yum yum.
i had been 180 the week before but i started my period bloat bloat blah.
okay so here goes nothing with my goals.
START: 242lbs
CURRENT: 182.6
